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[#MumsTheWord] Closet Senior

Shoes For Parcheesi Night

As soon as I saw them, I knew they were a desperate cry for help.  Andrew had gone on a shoe shopping expedition (a freaking miracle in itself) and returned with a pair of gummy-soled platform orthopedics that basically screamed, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get it up!”  It seemed a full-blown intervention was urgently needed, yet I knew I’d have to tread carefully as this was one of the few times he had ever taken the initiative to go shopping on his own.

“Oh – my – God, you bought … shoes!

“Ta-da!  What do you think?”

“Well, I … umm …”

“What?”

“Honestly?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, sorry to say this but I think they’re kind of … hideous.”

“WHAT?”

“Oh come on!  Uncle Craig wore the same shoes to his ninetieth!”

“They’re not that bad.  Besides, they’re really comfortable.”

“Well, there’s your first problem.”

“AND they were on sale.”

“OF COURSE THEY WERE ON SALE!”

“Look, I like them.  In fact, I liked them so much, I bought a second pair, for when these bad boys wear out!”

And sure enough, my wily little consumer pulled out another box from the gargantuan bag at his feet.

As I tucked the offending twins at the back of our closet later that evening (waaay back), I realized this was just another in a recent string of two-for-one fashion statements Andrew had adopted of late, all of which had me wondering what old age with this man would be like.  Just this month alone I’ve seen (and have shamelessly photographed) the Double-Shirt-Show, his early morning attempt at extra layering for warmth:

Because A Jacket Would Make Too Much SenseAnd the Double-Rainbow-Belt-Debacle, which, as he took his pants off one evening, explained why it had been so hard putting his belt on that morning:

Because … Really, WHY_  I’ve Got Nothing

Ah well.  At least this way, when we finally do get to the senior’s home, he’ll be overdressed and ready for it.

Addendum:  Andrew just peered over my shoulder at the picture of his shoes and said, “Are those mine?  Hmm … Nice!”

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Andie Duncan

Andie Duncan’s ability to communicate has taken her from JUNO Nominated songwriter to published author.  As an older mom to two young kids, she relies on the humour in everyday life to inspire her stories, if not to ensure her very survival.

www.andieduncan.com

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