Diary of a New Mama | Finding Your New Normal
‘You’ll find your ‘new normal’.’ You hear that a lot when you’re a new mom. I actually found comfort in those words. I also felt comfort in the words of a very honest friend (who also happens to be a mom), when she told me this pertains to marriage, too.
I had become so fixated on my new role as a mom, that I forgot how much a baby could and would change my marriage.
The rollercoaster of emotions that you embark on with your spouse
is like no other
From the second our son was born, we felt instant euphoria and love for this little being that we created. Then, as we arrived home and tried to settle into some sort of routine, it was a hard and fast reminder that things will never be the same.
Of course, we were beyond grateful to have a healthy and happy baby, but to go from the two of us to the three of us, is where we needed to find our ‘new normal.’ It took time. Patience. Tears. Really high highs and really low lows. The sleep deprivation gets to you, and you both become snappy or impatient. You don’t have the same time (or energy) to have deep conversations anymore. The time that was once spent giving love and attention to each other, is now totally transferred to your new baby.
…We were beyond grateful to have a healthy and happy baby, but to go from the two of us to the three of us, is where we needed to find our ‘new normal’
I remember a particular experience: It was the first week that my husband went back to work, and when he got home at the end of his long day, he came rushing through the doors to give the biggest hug and kiss to our newborn. I felt this surge of emotions rush through me.
The sleep deprivation gets to you, and you both become snappy or impatient. You don’t have the same time (or energy) to have deep conversations anymore.
At first I was so happy to see how happy my husband was to see his son. And then, the feeling of sadness, that I didn’t get the first hug and kiss, came rushing over me. I know this story seems petty. However, it was during that ‘aha’ moment when I realised that our love for our son is how we can communicate our love to one another. Sharing the love, which was once only for the two of us, is now what bonds us deeper. Cheesy, but true!