(or, How to Find your Answer when you have no Idea)
Some of my biggest decisions have been surprisingly easy to make.
When I bought a one-way ticket and moved to Tokyo by myself. When I’ve left secure jobs to pursue a passion or hunch. When I decided on a homebirth. The people in my life didn’t necessarily understand or get behind these choices.
But, I didn’t lie in bed second-guessing myself. I didn’t wait for anyone to reaffirm me.
I didn’t announce anything on social media.
I was at peace. I just knew. Because, sometimes, we just know.
And, other times…not so much.
We can wrestle with the same question for years, or even decades! Should I quit my job? Leave this relationship? Move overseas? Submit my finished manuscript, shoved in the bedside table?
Nah. I’ll wait for the perfect opportunity.
Fast forward 10 years. Nothing has changed.
Why Are Some Choices So Hard to Make?
While we may fantasise about changing our lives, actually making the changes is tough. Even seemingly small changes – taking a new route to work; eliminating something from our diet; starting a hobby – means stepping into the unknown. And unknown places are scary!
If this sounds familiar, you are not alone.
When I’m confused, I have some go-to techniques that help me access my creativity, tap back into my personal strength, and find my own best answers.
My top 3:
1. Don’t Ask for Advice
Strengthen your ability to make decisions for yourself. Other people don’t know what’s best for you. You are a grown-up. You know what’s best for you.
Don’t ask for advice from people you look up to. They may have stuff figured out – for themselves.
Don’t ask for advice from friends or relatives. They’re often biased because they have firm ideas of who you are – and they want you to stay that way. They’ll typically encourage the ‘safe’ route, which is not always what you need or long for.
2. Listen To Your Body
Instead of looking to the outside world for guidance, look inward. YOU are your own trusted source of wisdom. Yep, all the answers lie within – they’re not buried someplace on the internet.
Check in with your body. Avoid your brain, which tends to overcomplicate things. To the body, there is a definitive YES and NO. Get still and connect with yourself, and ask: ‘What is in my highest good right now?’ Your body will answer you.
If you’re out of touch with your body, you can reconnect by:
Getting into nature
Doing something creative
In the words of writer, Penney Peirce: “Do not let the shallowness and speed of daily life cheapen your inner vision.”
3. Care For Yourself
Self care. Always.
You must fill up your own cup, so you’re well and strong enough to see and feel clearly. Prioritize your own wellness, love and joy. Show yourself the same level of respect and integrity you bestow on others in your life.
Treat yourself as the wise soul you are.
I challenge you to look at one choice you’ve been grappling with.
Forget everything that anyone else has told you about it.
Gift yourself some time alone, outside. Leave your phone at home and walk through a park. Sit on a park bench. Breathe in and ask yourself: “If my body knew the answer, what would it be?”
Wait for your YES or NO.
Now, go forth and honour what you alone know to be true.
Want to become a decision-making ninja? I can help! I’m offering you a 1:1 mini coaching session to help you learn how to make big decisions with confidence. Just contact me to book it. SaveSave
SARAH LANG is a Leadership and Life Coach in the St. Clair West community who helps women make bold changes in their careers and lives.
Sarah helps her clients develop confidence, manage stress and define a crystal-clear path towards a career and life they actually love.